I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
