Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
