she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
