I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
