If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
