So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
