I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i drank out of a bidet.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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