im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
