I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
