this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
