I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
