I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
