My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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