gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
