The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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