Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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