Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize
