we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
