The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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