Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
