You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
