I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
