You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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