are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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