ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
