THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I fill condoms, not promises.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
