Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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