do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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