I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize