i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
