I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
