What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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