just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize