we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
