you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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