Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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