You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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