i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
