i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
