I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
