Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
