Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Houston, we have a blender
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
