u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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