as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
