Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
