The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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