Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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