i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish you could order shots online.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
