Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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