Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
