WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
