need another drink. this is the easiest way
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if only i could text you this smell
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
