At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
