just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
