My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
