her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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