Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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