You're completely useless in the revolution.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
