we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
