Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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