I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
