did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so explain again why im purple
no
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
