PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
