would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
