I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize