Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Green mimosas i think yes
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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