I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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