I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize