when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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