yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize